Cancer Solidifies Its Lead, Signs of Life from Libra

Feb. 23. Cancer had a so-so day at the PyeongChang winter games, but it was good enough to bolster its top ranking in the ZodiOlympics standings.

The crab captured just two medals – a silver in biathlon and a bronze in curling – in a very slow day for inspirational renditions of national anthems. Only 16 medals were draped upon athletes on Friday, a sharp downturn from the 102 awarded on Thursday and 71 on Wednesday – the two richest days so far in displays of nationalism and athletic achievement.

Cancer’s modest winnings separated it from a tie with Gemini in the medal-count standings. The twins won zilch today, and Sagittarius – with a single bronze medal – edged closer to second place.

Jesper Nelin

The big winner was Libra, which has been in last place for most of the ZodiOlympics. The scales copped six medals, tops for the day, including a gold in a biathlon relay – way to go Jesper Nelin! – two silver and two bronze. Libra moved within one medal of escaping the lowest rung of hell and catching 11th place Capricorn, which earned just one medal.

It’s the women who are holding Libra back, with just 10 medals so far. On their own, the manly scales have 20 giant coins slung around their necks, which would put them in the middle of the pack.

Quietly, Taurus had a good day as well. The bull is still in fourth place, but crept closer to third-ranked Sagittarius by picking up four medals. A stealthy move in the shadows.

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