Aries Wins Kentucky Derby

Aries was the most successful astrological sign in yesterday’s 2018 Kentucky Derby, according to a new analysis and ranking by ZodiDerby.

Justify, foaled under the sign of Aries, won the race outright, followed by two Pisces competitors, Good Magic and Audible. Neither Aquarius nor Taurus had a horse in the top three.

On a weighted basis, which awarded points proportionately among the top 10 finishers, Aries garnered 24 points and edged out Pisces’ 15 points. Taurus managed only half a point after Solomini finished 10th.

The strong showing by Aries was not surprising, given that six of the 20 horses were foaled under its sign.

Taurus also sponsored six horses but they ran like old bulls and had far worse results. Five of the team finished among the bottom six in the race. The average finish for Taurus was 16th place, compared to ninth for Aries.

Aquarius, with just three horses in the field, turned in the best average finish, sixth. Aquarius also did well in terms of the final odds ranking. Its three entries finished fifth, sixth and seventh, including two longshots with odds of 67-to-1, 27-to-1.

Aries also had strong scores in the performance analysis, aided by the fourth-place finish of Instilled Regard, which was the darkest horse in the field with 85-to-1 odds at the start. Lone Sailor and Vino Rossi also finished slightly higher than oddsmakers predicted, while Justify, the overall winner, was also the favorite in the race.



The creators of ZodiOlympics this week announced a new venture based on the wonders of the Zodiac.

ZodiDerby will track this weekend’s running of the Kentucky Derby based on the foal dates of the 20 horses now scheduled to run. This parallels our landmark analysis of the 2018 winter Olympic games based on the athletes’ birth dates (astrological signs) rather than their nationality.

ZodiDerby is a much simpler affair as all the competitors were born over the course of four signs of the Zodiac in 2015. These are your choices:

Horse Sign
Firenze Fire Pisces
Free Drop Billy Taurus
Promises Fulfilled Taurus
Flameaway Pisces
Audible Pisces
Good Magic Pisces
Justify Aries
Lone Sailor Aries
Hofburg Aquarius
My Boy Jack Aquarius
Bolt D’Oro Pisces
Enticed Aries
Bravazo Aquarius
Mendelssohn Taurus
Instilled Regard Aries
Magnum Moon Taurus
Solomini Taurus
Vino Rosso Aries
Noble Indy Aries
Combatant Taurus

Two of them have the same foal-date: March 17!

Let the betting and wondering begin.

Cancer Wins the Olympics

Feb. 25. The crab could not be stopped. After a weak showing on Friday, the Cancer team rebounded with two impressive days on the medal stand and won the ZodiOlympics going away.

Cancer pulled in 10 medals each of the last two days of the winter games, ending the tournament with 74 total medals, nine more than second-place Aquarius. On a metal-weighted basis, the crab scored 150 points, 19 more than Taurus.

Cancer had the best men’s team, pulling in 39 medals, two more than Pisces. The fish men actually tied the crab boys on a medal-weighted basis. Cancer was among the top women’s teams, and it won the most medals in hockey. In addition, Cancer captured the most glory while wearing ice skates or skis on their feet, the two biggest event categories.

Sagittarius had the top women’s team, with 39 total medals, though they were one point behind in the medal-weighted scoring.

Virgo didn’t accomplish much, finishing 10th in medal count, but it placed in the middle of the pack on a weighted basis and it was also the most successful team in snowboard events. Aquarius were the top sledders with 11 medals in luge and bobsleigh.

Sagittarius won the most medals in curling, the only event in which competitors wore shoes.

Finally, Libra could not seal the deal. After fighting to a tie for 11th place coming down the home stretch, the scales captured just one medal on the final day of the ZodiOlympics, while Capricorn pranced ahead with eight medals.


Has Cancer Nailed Down the Gold?

Feb. 24. Cancer had another monster day at the PyeongChang games, picking up 10 medals and moving closer to winning the inaugural ZodiOlympics competition. Hats off to the crab.

Cancer won 10 medals today, tops in the field, including seven bronze – three on the alpine ski event, two in men’s hockey and solo in curling – along with a gold in mass-start speed skating and silvers in curling and snowboard big air. All that winning increased Cancer’s lead in medal count from just two on Friday to a perhaps unstoppable five-point lead with just one day left in the games.

The crab holds a hefty 16-point lead in weighted medals.

Lee Seung-Hoon

Gemini is hanging around in second, and it actually had a decent day on Saturday, with seven total medals. Both Cancer and Gemini have very strong women’s teams, but the twins-men are nothing special, while the crab-boys are best of class with 30 medals. Pisces are still in the hunt for the top men’s team, thanks to gold medals from Lee Seung-Hoon and Matt Hamilton. Sagittarius and Aries have decent shots at the top women’s team.

Aries had good day on Saturday, picking up nine medals and moving from fifth place overall to fourth. And Libra did itself some good by climbing into a tie with Capricorn for 11th place despite having an anemic woman’s team.

There are still a lot of medals at stake on Sunday, the final day of the PyeongChang games, including the top two men’s hockey teams. Cancer has turned up some big days so far, but it’s also been subpar on others.

Matt Hamilton

“I have absolute confidence in the crab,” said July 4 birthday celebrant Roger Myerberg. “Above all else, we will crush the life out of those pathetic fish in our mighty pincers.”


Cancer Solidifies Its Lead, Signs of Life from Libra

Feb. 23. Cancer had a so-so day at the PyeongChang winter games, but it was good enough to bolster its top ranking in the ZodiOlympics standings.

The crab captured just two medals – a silver in biathlon and a bronze in curling – in a very slow day for inspirational renditions of national anthems. Only 16 medals were draped upon athletes on Friday, a sharp downturn from the 102 awarded on Thursday and 71 on Wednesday – the two richest days so far in displays of nationalism and athletic achievement.

Cancer’s modest winnings separated it from a tie with Gemini in the medal-count standings. The twins won zilch today, and Sagittarius – with a single bronze medal – edged closer to second place.

Jesper Nelin

The big winner was Libra, which has been in last place for most of the ZodiOlympics. The scales copped six medals, tops for the day, including a gold in a biathlon relay – way to go Jesper Nelin! – two silver and two bronze. Libra moved within one medal of escaping the lowest rung of hell and catching 11th place Capricorn, which earned just one medal.

It’s the women who are holding Libra back, with just 10 medals so far. On their own, the manly scales have 20 giant coins slung around their necks, which would put them in the middle of the pack.

Quietly, Taurus had a good day as well. The bull is still in fourth place, but crept closer to third-ranked Sagittarius by picking up four medals. A stealthy move in the shadows.

Cancer Catches Gemini, Taurus Rising

Feb. 22. Cancer was the big winner in the PyeongChang winter games today, according to the updated ZodiOlympics standings.

The crab hauled in 12 medals in the busiest day of the tournament. With two women’s hockey teams and numerous relay races decided, a total of 102 medals were awarded on Thursday, topping the 72 given out the day before. Cancer won one more medal than Gemini, moving it into the tie.

Cancer’s 29 points – tops for the day – allowed it extend its lead based on a weighted basis. Gemini, still tied for the lead on number of medals, was eight points behind on a weighted basis.

Taurus won 13 medals on Thursday, the biggest one-day haul so far in the tournament. That helped move the bull up from seventh place to a tie for fourth. Gemini and Capricorn scooped up 11 medals each, while Sagittarius and Leo brought home 10 each.

The lions are the top rated men, with 23 goals and 50 weighted points. Sagittarius are by far the fastest team with 35 medals in events decided by speed. Cancer has a narrow lead over Taurus and Scorpio in points-based competition (think figure skating and snowboard), while Gemini is ahead in events measured by goals. Also known as hockey.


Gemini Into Lead, Sagittarius and Cancer Make Moves

Feb. 21. Gemini, Cancer and Sagittarius continued to dominate the ZodiOlympics ranking of top astrological teams at the PyeongChang winter games during a busy day of team medals.

A whopping 72 medals were awarded on Wednesday, including 23 distributed to the bronze-winning women’s hockey team. That was the biggest one-day medal haul since the 64 given out on Feb. 12, when team figure skating awards were made.

Sagittarius and Aries each scooped up 10 medals yesterday. The archer captured five medals in team pursuit speed skating and three more in women’s hockey. The ram earned five in hockey, three in team pursuit.

Gemini, with six goals earned, remained at the top of the standing in medal count, one ahead of Sagittarius (which moved up from fourth on Tuesday) and Cancer. But the crab clawed its way to the top of the medal-weighted ranking with 81 points. Cancer hauled in nine gold and six silver.

Aquarius actually brought more in medal-weighted points, 17 to Cancer’s 16, including six gold, six silver and five bronze.

Left on their own, the Pisces men would be right in the thick of things, leading on points and tied for first in weighted scoring. But the fish women rank 10th in points and next to last on weighted scoring.


Gemini Takes the Lead: Sagittarius Makes a Move

Feb. 20. Sagittarius made a serious move up the ZodiOlympic ranking on cumulative medals won at the PeyongChange games today, as Gemini slid past Aquarius into the top ranking.

Aquarius still cling to a slim lead in the weighted-medal scoring: 71 to 70 over Gemini and five points ahead of Cancer, which held its own in for the day. Leo and Pisces both lost significant ground.

But the winner for the day was Sagittarius, which won seven medals, including three in the women’s short-track 3000m relay. The archer hauled in a gold and silver in the biathlon mixed relay, as well as in the men’s Nordic combined.

Taurus was not far behind, with six medalists on Tuesday’s podium, half of which came from ice dance, where there was a bull on each winning team. Taurus also nailed two in the biathlon mixed relay.

There are still nine or so astrological teams that could move into contention if they could put together outings like Sagittarius and Taurus had. Capricorn and Libra need a miracle to avoid relegation. Are there any promising constellations in the second tier?



Feb 19: Aquarius Spurts to the Top

Team Aquarius stormed to the top of the ZodiOlympics ranking of top astrological teams at the PyeongChang during a somewhat slow day in medals.

Alexander Kopacz

The water bearers swept up five medals in the Feb. 19 competition, including a gold and silver in team ski jumping, along with a gold won by Alexander Kopacz in the two-man bobsled. That was enough lift Aquarius from its third-place standing the day before to first in total medals awarded, and in the metallurgically-weighted standings.

The ZodiOlympics appear to be turning into a three-team race for astrological supremacy, though there is still a lot of medal to be doled out – including the huge hockey rosters. In our analysis, every member of the gold, silver and bronze teams is credited with a medal. Could be a wild finish.

Stefan Hula

For now, Gemini and Cancer are giving Aquarius the most competition, followed by a pack of star-signs that are within spitting distance. Capricorn is still on the outside looking in. We honor the scales’ Stefan Hula, who helped keep Libra’s pulse alive with a bronze in team ski jumping.


Feb. 18: The Fish Are Swimming

Team Gemini had a weak showing at the PyeongChang games on Feb. 18 but held onto a share of the lead as Cancer and Pisces outperformed.

Nick Goepper

The twins managed just a single medal, but it was gold, and that was enough to keep Gemini in front on a weighted basis with 60 points. But Cancer’s four total medals lifted the crab into a tie for the lead on medal count.

Pisces was the big winner with two golds, three silver and two bronze, the most successful outing among the dozen astrological teams.

That lifted the fish from 10th place the day before to sixth, and fifth place on a medal-weighted basis.

Marcel Hirscher

Special recognition to Piscean Nick Goepper, of March 14th fame, who twisted and flew to a silver in slopestyle ski. The Fish took gold (Marcel Hirscher) and bronze (Alexis Pinturault) in men’s giant slalom.

Even the lowly Libra had a better day than Gemini, earning two gold on the winning men’s four-by-10km relay, along with a bronze in the same event. The Scales are still dead last, but it was their best day yet in the ZodiOlympics, with a lot of medals yet to be awarded based on form rather than speed or distance.
Alexis Pinturault

Cancer and Scorpio have had the best of these form events, such as figure skating and snowboard. Gemini is tops in the nookish distance category: ski jumping and curling.